Season for Family

A community of women finding time for family connections.

  • Learn about our Mission
  • Subscribe
  • Our Team
  • Share
  • Contact

Faceless, Storyless, Nameless

06.27.2019 by season // Leave a Comment

Hi friends, I want to talk to you all about something really important. Let’s talk about what to do if your ancestors are faceless, story-less and/or nameless. For many years my ancestors were nameless. My tree did not extend past my grandparents. I’m sure you can imagine why I thought family history was not for me. How was I supposed to connect with a black void?

Today I want to talk to you about how we can overcome the void and breathe some life into our barren trees. The reality is our trees are not barren, they are just as full as anyone else. Our ancestors are in the shadows, but with the help of God, we can shine a light into the shadows and find something about them even though it may be small.

First let’s talk about our faceless ancestors. Not having family photos was very painful for me as a visual person. I am so jealous of all the beautiful black and white photos that other families have. I began painting my ancestors because I wanted to look into their faces so badly. My first steps were to pray and ask for help. I believed that God was capable of anything; He knows my ancestors and He could help me find them.

The second step was to get to work. Through a series of events, documents, emails, and Facebook family groups, I have 3 photos that I cherish greatly. I remember the first time I saw my great grandparents wedding photo. It seemed impossible that I would ever see their faces, I knew it was a miracle and God had answered my prayers.

But photos are not the only proof that your ancestors were alive and kicking. Documents are a great way to transport yourself to important life moments with your ancestor. For example, the signature of my 2x great grandmother on her wedding document. She put her pen to this paper, she was standing there as the priest wrote up this document. Reading that document helped me to become closer to her.

What to do if your ancestors are storyless? Documents are a great way to understand the life story of your ancestor. The new “Time line” feature on family search is so helpful in displaying all the information into a visual time line making it easy to see how old the person was during certain events. Even with the time line, it is also really fun to look at the actual documents. I knew zero stories but I was able to discover that my great grandmother was born in 1887 in Mexico City. I was able to Google information about Mexico city in 1887, see what clothes were in fashion then, and even find some vintage photos to understand what the city looked like at that time. From her marriage document I found that she was 22 when she was married. I later found out she had two children die young and her mother died when she was 35 years old. You might think that that information is not much, but to see it was enough to “flesh” her out and feel more connected to her.

And lastly, what to do if your ancestor is nameless. Even though your ancestors have been pushed into the shadows, they are not far from you. You literally carry them in your cheekbones and eye color. They are in your DNA and with the latest advancements of science; you can discover them right inside of you! You can Google holiday traditions from your heritage and start celebrating with your family today. The technology for this is moving rapidly. Scientist and genealogist are using DNA to reconnect families torn apart for centuries by slavery. There is a term called “the slavery wall.” As an African American, once your family tree got into the 1800 or 1700s, all documents were lost because most likely your ancestors were taken from Africa and there were not many records kept that actually documented the names of the slaves. Now with DNA, many families are able to hurdle that wall and find where in Africa their ancestors were taken from. There are more options available than ever before. When it comes to family history, do not underestimate the power of science, the Internet and social media to help you piece together your family. I know God will help you in this and I know your ancestors will too.

Elder Melvin J. Ballard said “They are praying that the Lord will awaken your hearts in their interest. They know where their records are, and I testify to you that the spirit and influence of your dead will guide those who are interested in finding those records. If there is anywhere on the earth anything concerning them, you will find it. That is my promise to you. But you must begin to work. You must begin to inquire after your dead. And the spirit of your heart turning towards them will come upon you, and the way will be opened in a marvelous manner, and if there is a scrap of evidence concerning them upon the earth, you will find it. When we have done all that we can do ourselves, the Lord will come to our rescue. … If we have done our best and have searched and have discovered all that is available, then the day will come when God will open and part the veil, and the records … will be revealed”

When it comes to family history, be optimistic and completely unrealistic about what can happen. God can work miracles for you. Just last week I was contacted on Facebook with more information and even a photo of a person I have been looking for, for years. Finding her seemed impossible, was impossible. If you know anyone with similar circumstances to mine, they might have already decided that family history is not for them, please share this post with them. Please also be sensitive, there might be sad / hard reasons why their family history has been lost. Acknowledge their concerns, don’t be judgmental, and be as kind and encouraging as possible. I want them to know that connecting to ancestors is possible! It is healing and even fun. Matthew 19: 26 “But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.”


MICHELLE FRANZONI THORLEY

florafamiliar.myportfolio.com
IG: @flora_familiar


Categories // Connections, Research, Stories, Thoughts, Trials

A Larger Family

06.17.2019 by season // 1 Comment

I grew up in a relatively small family with only 1 cousin (a second cousin) my age. It felt normal to me, because it’s what I knew. It wasn’t until I married my husband – who has a plethora of cousins (like, 85 FIRST COUSINS) – that I realized how much I missed out on cousins growing up. For many of his siblings, their cousins are their best friends that will remain throughout their life. In many ways I am sad I don’t have relationships like that, and have made it a point to ensure my kids get to have that kind of relationship with their cousins.

While I didn’t have close cousin relationships, I am lucky enough to have some great friendships. One of those great friendships is with Tiffany. Her husband and mine served together on their missions for our church and she and I met when my husband and I were dating. Despite the fact that we live in different states, she’s become one of my best friends – the kind of friend you call on both your best and worst days knowing they’ll be there to cry with you, laugh with you or cheer you on.

A couple years ago we decided to take a trip together – Tiff and I and our husbands – to get some kid-free time to hang out and catch up. We decided where to go (we’d fly into Boston and travel a bit around New England) and started planning our trip. As we were planning where exactly to go and what to see I mentioned visiting First Parish Church in Plymouth since I had ancestors that came on the Mayflower. She mentioned she had family on the Mayflower as well. We thought it would be SO COOL if it was a common ancestor and we would be, like, 13th cousins or something. Well, we checked our records and it WAS a common ancestor!

“Let’s keep going down the line and see where it splits” I said. So we texted names back and forth as we moved down our family lines:

“Elizabeth White is my next relative down”
“ME TOO!”

“Then Obadiah Wheeler…”
“ME TOO!”

“Then Peregrine Wheeler…”
“SAME HERE”

By this time we’re thinking this is amazing, and getting really tired because it’s super late. The next morning I wake up to a text from Tiff, “Who is your closest Wheeler ancestor?” We’re dying to know how close our lines are at this point and going generation by generation is taking too long so working back from where we’re at seems like the best bet.

“My grandpa, John Wheeler” I answer.

“THIS JOHN WHEELER?!” She texts back, along with a picture of my grandpa.

I called her immediately with a million questions. “How did you get this picture? Do you know my grandpa?! HOW ARE WE RELATED?!”

It turns out that we are second cousins once removed. Her mom and I are second cousins. My mom and her grandma are FIRST COUSINS. Her great-grandma and my grandpa are brother and sister. I knew her great grandma as a young girl. TEN YEARS we’d been best friends at this point, across different states, only meeting because our husbands served together on their missions – and we didn’t even know we were cousins.

Now, completely unexpectedly, I find myself with that close cousin relationship I’d wanted. We didn’t grow up together but we share so many common ancestral traits and stories, and we’re still close as can be.

Mine surely isn’t the only story like this. Nearly every time I’ve connected with someone on Family Search or Relative Finder, we’ve been related in some way. Even finding out someone is my 10th cousin feels so exciting and makes me feel more connected to them.

When we realize just how close we are, how interconnected we are to those around us, we start to see the world a little bit differently. We feel, more tangibly, part of something larger. We are reminded that, “[We are] not forgotten or alone because we are all part of a larger family.” -Neil L. Andersen


SARAH GARNER

thekindredpress.com
IG: @thekindredpress


Categories // Connections, Stories Tags // cousins, Family History, stories

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • 2

Connect

  • Facebook
  • Instagram

Recent Posts

  • Thanksgiving Tradition
  • Finding your part in the temple work
  • Taide
  • Helping Children find their family builds resilience
  • The experience behind the lilac bush

Categories

  • Activities
  • Adoption
  • Child
  • Comfort
  • Connections
  • Facebook Group
  • Family
  • Free Printables
  • Guest Posts
  • Healing Through Family Lines
  • Hearts Around the World Project
  • Help
  • Journal
  • Literature
  • Personal History
  • Quotes
  • Research
  • Selfie with an Ancestor
  • Stories
  • Teen
  • Temple
  • Thoughts
  • Traditions
  • Traditions
  • Trials
  • Tutorials
  • Uncategorized

Copyright © 2025 · Modern Studio Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in